Tonight feels celebratory. The air is warm. The windows are open. I baked tonight. We’ve had two days of sun. And this Enoughness experiment is knocking my socks off.
The other night I went to dinner with two friends I don’t see often and, now that one of them is moving away, it felt urgent to schedule time with them even while Brian was out of town. So I hired a sitter and took a cab to Lincoln Park for the chance to spend the evening with them. I managed not to buy a floor-length skirt, or anything at all, for the occasion, and I also managed to throw on an outfit in which I felt good regardless. While getting dressed, I affirmed, “I am enough. I am grateful for everything I have. I am open to receiving the abundance already on its way to me now.”
Somewhere in the universe, a door must’ve opened. Despite my mild protest, my friend ended up picking up my cab ride there, everyone’s dinner and my cab ride home, leaving me only with the cost of the sitter. Normally, I would’ve never let her be such a generous benefactress, but I am officially working really hard at being comfortable with receiving, and so I received. It seemed important to practice this new art. I don’t know how to say it more eloquently, but I was blown away by the unexpected extension of material generosity.
Yet my dinner and transportation weren’t the only gifts of the night. While with my dear friends, I also experienced the gift of new hope. “Let’s all say out loud what it is that we want, right now,” suggested Ashley, who openly claims to feel no special connection with the Universe. (I do not concur.) “You have to say it out loud because if you can’t say it out loud, then you must not really want it, and if you really do want it, then you have to say it out loud. Right now.”
What followed, for me, was raw and amazing. We went around and each of us said aloud what it is that we want, what we really, really want. Maybe it was the wine, the return of warm night breezes or the formation of clouds that looked like a speckled feather directly above Ashley’s deck, but I have to say it felt like we had a hearing with God himself.
Ashley went first, then T, then me, and we bared witness to each other’s purest, deepest, sincerest life desires. Our wishes for ourselves, for our families. At Ashley’s behest, we just put them out there.
I want financial freedom. I want my husband and I both to be overflowing with vitality. I want to be a channel for love in the world. I want to help people. I want some other things too personal to share beyond Ashley’s deck. I want to play outside more. Mountains, canyons, oceans, lakes, whatever, I just want it accessible to us on a daily basis.
As I stared at their moonlit faces gazing at the sky, I feel like “It is written,” came through on the breeze. My always pragmatic pals might lovingly scoff at the thought, but I felt it. Sure enough, days later, I texted Ashley with nothing short of wonderment. My private wish had come true. Days after that, we received a major financial boost. Days after that, a new wave of vitality swept over our family of four, and seemed to stick.
I’m not sure how I ever forgot this, but there’s something to flat-out asking for what you want. Say it out loud and wait for it to come to you. If it’s not in line with spiritual law, it won’t happen, but if it is, get ready. It took Ashley reminding me of the power in this practice to adopt it as my own. Were I not in a conscious space of trying to release attachment to material conquests, appreciate what I currently have and open myself to receiving more blessings, I may have missed it.
Thank God for great friends who get you back on track, and for everything else, too.
Note: This post is part of a series about my experiences in uncovering my own innate enough-ness. For three months, I am abstaining from frivolous material purchases, accepting all blessings that come my way and focusing on gratitude for all that I have. The idea came to me in a meditation-induced haze and it has nothing to do with politics or morality. I’m just a girl who’s hoping to: separate the association between looking good and being good; get comfy with receiving; become a glowingly grateful human being; get acquainted with my own motives for material consumption; grow my understanding of when/why I buy things; and establish new habits that are more aligned with my values. We’ll see how this goes…